Before I Go
by Somber Secrets
Summary: "Kakashi?" "Sakura, did you just get back from your mission?" "I love you." He didn't know that she was dying. KakaSaku


Premise: "Kakashi?" "Sakura, did you just get back from your mission?" "I love you." He didn't know that she was dying.

Disclaimer: Me no own...

* * *

**Before I Go**

Sakura raced through the trees, her red scarf whipping around her neck and slowing down her momentum ever so slightly. She couldn't take off the offending object however. The snow that surrounded her was making her feel too cold, much too cold and she couldn't afford for the cold to invade her just yet. She absently mindedly thought that the ANBU should have made winter uniforms because honestly the bare upper arms and thin although maneuverable material just didn't cut it during this time of the year. Even with the addition and comfort of the light gray vest little could be done for the shivers that were pulsating through her body.

She pushed as much more chakra into her feet as her body would allow her and grimaced slightly at the effort. As was expected all of her energy was dissipating faster than usual. It had taken her nearly half an hour to discern how much energy she could waste trying to get back home, how much time it would take and all the while balance it with all the other tasks she had to complete. The fact that it had taken her more than thirty seconds to calculate something so novel truly meant that the hit to the head that she had taken had done more damage then she had suspected. "No matter," Sakura muttered, she had figured it out eventually and didn't have to waste more energy healing her head on top of that.

"Shit!" she cursed as her focus on her feet dwindled for the first time in her life and she span off of the tree limb and plummeted into a bank of snow. Coughing several times she dug herself out of the white mess and leaned heavily against a tree.

"I'm so glad that nobody was here to see that," Sakura muttered darkly as she searched through the snow for the mask that had slipped off her face during her long journey to the ground. She thought the novelty of the ANBU mask ridiculous considering she had never met another pink haired anyone in her life, but protocol was protocol and Tsunade simply enjoyed the fuss Sakura would make every time she came back from a mission in where her mask had once again become a liability.

Sakura slipped the mask back over her head and leaped back up into the trees taking more care in her control. Despite her waning energy levels, using more chakra to get it right the first time was more efficient than trying to fix her mistakes. She bounded through the barren limbs and noted that the snow was virtually undisturbed other than the little rabbit footprints that trailed back and forth. She knew she was safe from any rogue shinobi for the time being.

She also knew she couldn't be far from the gate now and as the trees suddenly disappeared and the main road made an appearance. She flipped in mid air and landed on one foot and one knee crouched low on the ground. She upped her senses for only a second and scanned the area around her. Once again there was no threat to her safety nearby.

The main road had been cleared from snow considering the fragility of merchants and civilians who were nomadic and the flat stable ground only served for her footing to move faster and for her to reach her destination much quicker. "Speaking of destination," Sakura mumbled as the west gate of her home city appeared on the horizon. The foggy blur of Konoha rose above the gates within a couple steps and she smiled at the familiarity she felt.

It took her less than ten minutes to reach the gate. She slowed down as she neared the entrance and looked over to the guards that were stationed there for that night, she was surprised to see that Genma and Ino were on duty and currently under the desk. "I didn't think that you liked guarding things," Sakura smiled under her mask. "Or the cold for that matter."

Ino looked up at her in shock for a couple of moments before nearly bursting out of her position and knocking the chair behind her over. Sakura took in a deep breath in preparation for the knock to her lungs and Sakura found that she could still breath ever so slightly with the blond literally attached to her neck. "Forehead, you've been done for three days longer, we didn't think that…"

"I always come back," Sakura grinned and tilted her head ever so slightly, "Anything interesting happen while I was gone?"

Ino looked back at Genma, who had just popped his head over the desk and smirked at her, as a scarlet brush laced her cheeks. The man grinned back at her the senbon in his mouth bouncing up merrily with the stroking of his tongue. "A lot of things can in one week…" Ino muttered and looked back up at Sakura who was trying to hold in a chortle.

"Yah, a lot of things can happen," she muttered and waved casually at the playboy, "Sorry for interrupting you two in your uh… whatever you were doing under your chairs. DON'T explain, I don't want to know right now," Sakura laughed, "Just telling you I'm not some rogue coming to destroy the village."

"Duly noted," Genma stated with another grin as Ino walked back to him with a swing to her hips. The girl probably didn't know what she did to the guy, but then again this was Yamanaka Ino we were talking about.

Sakura nodded and left the gate behind her. She was glad that the encounter hadn't taken any longer; her calculation on time had just been messed up. She mourned the lost moments but rejoiced that her Pig best friend had found a companion for yet another week.

Sakura took to the roofs the moment that the buildings were no longer sparse and bounded over them. She noted the full moon that glowed behind her and resisted the urge to howl like a child. She snickered slightly before wincing at the effort and finally landed at her destination. She once again flipped in the air to get off the roof and landed crouched with both feet on the railing of a balcony.

She never understood the design of the little apartment the man had bought. The balcony came from a rather large window, but a window none the less, "The place was probably designed with stupid shinobi in mind," Sakura laughed despite herself and casually leapt off the railing. She peaked into the window and grinned when she saw his sleeping figure twitch with the minute sounds she was making. Only the copy nin would be able to hear something out of nothing.

Sakura didn't even try to be quite anymore when she did away with his lock, something that she would never understand. He never locked his door but his window was always secure to the toe. Predictably he shot up the moment the lock crumbled and the glass slid open.

Sakura climbed and rolled through the opening as the man in front of her rubbed his eyes. "Kakashi?"

He blinked up at her, if she could really call it a blink when only one eye was technically moving. He definitely wasn't winking, that would have been way too weird even for Kakashi. It was one of the many wonders of the man that sat before her on his almost child-like shuriken printed comforter. "Sakura?" he asked blearily registering the fact that he didn't need to go on the offensive and that seemed to knock him off balance more than anything else had, "Did you just get back from your mission?"

Sakura tilted her head and slid the mask off of her head. She reached forward with one hand and tilted his chin up so that he would be able to see her face instead of the knuckles that were still scrubbing away at the corner of his eyes. "I love you."

Silence ensued, it was what she had expected.

Sakura lamely pushed over the shocked man on his bed and sat on the edges of the springy mattress. "I've been meaning to tell you for a long time now," Sakura grinned and looked back at him over her shoulder. Her green eyes sparkled in the moonlight. "Sorry if this was a bit of a surprise."

Kakashi still did not speak but his face had turned emotionless, an automatic reaction to anything distressing or not distressing now that Sakura thought about it. She didn't know why the man desired to wear a mask in public, he already had perfect control over his features, the mask did nothing more for him. 'The girls…' Sakura thought absently mindedly and giggled.

"A bit of a surprise is an understatement," Kakashi stated as his eyes narrowed slightly at her form. She registered that she was shivering again despite the fact that she was now inside; she was lower in chakra than she had originally thought.

"Sorry?" Sakura laughed not taking his answer as either good or bad, she had learned doing such things around this man was ridiculous, he meant what he said and yet never did what he wanted and didn't understand the implication of his words… if that made any sense what so ever. Sakura shrugged the notion off. That wasn't her issue right now. "I know that it's sudden and that it will probably disrupt all of the training you've been giving me lately, but I really do mean what I say, I love you Kakashi."

He opened his mouth for just a moment, she could see it now, the inner turmoil that rested within his eyes and she beamed at him. "You don't have to say anything in return."

"I'm an old man Sakura."

"Thirty-four isn't all that old."

"You don't know what love is."

"And you do? If you're telling me that love is what is in your stupid books then I can show you that I love you right here right now if you want," Sakura snickered at the shocked expression that passed his face before his emotionless mask was back on. She reached her hand up to touch him delicately on the chin and noticed that he hadn't shaved for a while.

"That won't be necessary."

"Good because I'm tired, so please scoot over and even if you hate my guts just humor me for a little while," Sakura stated with a flick of her finger as she stood up and removed the bulkier pieces of her fighting ensemble. She brushed her hand over her side several times to make sure that her injuries were not noticeable for the ever observant man and pulled the blanket up.

He complied and shifted to the other side of his bed and she rolled into the empty space that he had made for her. She turned to face him with the blanket pulled up to her chin. "I'm guessing that you want some sort of an explanation for the impromptu confession."

"Sakura…"

"Don't tell me I don't know what I'm doing, Kakashi. I know exactly what I'm doing, and I say I know because I actually know that you care for me too. I don't know what kind of caring because Genma can be vague and Ino can be even more vague when it travels through her grapevine, but you do care about me."

Kakashi stayed silent for a bit and Sakura guessed that she had hit her mark, she just didn't know how close. "Don't do the righteous thing," Sakura mumbled and pushed his hair out of his face. "I fell in love with you a year ago and I've been doing the righteous thing right up until now and personally I like how this telling you thing feels better. Screw being righteous."

Kakashi let out a chuckle. "You have grown up quite a lot."

Sakura stuck out her tongue as her shivers increased, she just needed a little bit longer. "I'm sure you've noticed," she mumbled and grasped her hand in his.

"Then, would it be alright if an old man told you he loved you too."

"Kakashi…" Sakura whispered and looked up at him with teary eyes and a weak smile, "One you aren't an old man, might I say AGAIN and two I said don't do the righteous thing."

"What are you talking about?" Kakashi asked and looked down at her pink locks of hair and her glowing face.

Sakura sighed, "Didn't I tell you not to the do the righteous thing? Don't tell a girl you love her back just because she confessed she loved you first."

"Sakura…"

"Humor me…" Sakura whispered, "I don't want to think that we have lost time, so much time."

"We won't lose anymore time Sakura," Kakashi replied and wound his arm around her should and pulled her closer, "Now let's sleep, it's late and we'll talk more in the morning."

"Okay…"

Sakura relaxed her body and was amazed by how quickly Kakashi had fallen asleep beside her. Her mind must have gotten blurry somewhere in their conversation as she traced back to every word that was said, he didn't particularly react like the copy nin would normally react but then again how often did former students march through a window to declare their undying love for him. She scrunched her nose, 'hopefully not often.'

Sakura looked up at his face and studied his features, locking them away in her brain. She had seen them before, but never this close and never this personal. In her opinion he was much better looking than their stoic teammate, but she had a substantial bias. She was sure that Naruto would disagree.

One hour past and Sakura was worried that her convulsions would soon wake up the man she loved. She had lost her control for only one second, which meant it was her time to go. She shifted slightly and noticed that he barely stirred. Rolling out of bed without a sound she peaked over the edge of the mattress and saw that he had grabbed the pillow in her place, 'Lucky thing…' she thought as she frowned slightly. She didn't know if she was frowning because she wanted to be the pillow or if she was frowning because she wanted to BE a pillow.

Sakura stood up and looked back over her shoulder as she braced herself at the window once more, "I love you… I'm sorry that we lost our time." And with that she disappeared into the moonlight.

_Before I Go_

Kakashi woke up the next morning wondering if everything that had happened last night had all just been a dream. It was a given that everything had seemed unreal and wasn't helped by the fact that he had never fully woken up at her arrival knowing that she was trustworthy.

He inhaled the cold air and was assured that it hadn't been a dream. His dreams usually were more of a perverse nature and her smell didn't usually stick around when reality hit. He propped himself up on his elbows and once again rubbed at his eye.

Her mask and ANBU vest were still sitting on the floor. He smiled, "Something about righteousness," he mumbled before he scanned his apartment for her. "Impossible," he muttered not sensing her presence.

"Her scent wouldn't still be this strong… unless…" he whipped his blanket off of his bed and stared in horror at what he saw. Where Sakura had been lying just that night was a puddle of blood, her blood.

All of Kakashi's senses were buzzing at once as he quickly got changed, "The hospital, she's a medic, that's where she would go," he mumbled as he leaped out of his window and off of his balcony. He hated hospitals, but he needed to know if she was alright.

Thoughts started to quickly invade his head, Sakura was a medic and as a medic she was one to be sure to tend to wounds first. Why would she come visit him before getting treated if she couldn't handle it herself? Kakashi's blood ran cold, there was very little Sakura could not treat these days. His leaps got longer and faster.

He skidded to a stop on the roof of the hospital and jumped to the ground. He pushed through the entrance and sniffed slightly. He could smell her and much worse, he could also sense the Hokage. When the Hokage was in the hospital almost all else was lost.

He followed his senses and pushed through the misguided civilians, shinobi and the shocked nurses who all knew that he wouldn't ever step into a hospital for any reason other than a dying comrade. He had his own medic now was what they all thought as he continued to barrel through them. He reached the door where her scent was absolutely saturated and he hesitated when he grasped the handle.

"Come in Hatake!" The blonde Hokage shouted from inside, you could hear the strife in her voice.

"Didn't I say…" Sakura weakly murmured.

"I don't give a shit what you have to say," Tsunade snapped before she once again started murmuring soothingly.

Kakashi pulled open the door and the sight that met him almost made his heart jump out of his chest and vomit out of his mouth. It had been too long since he had seen one of the people he cared for this close to death. "Hey there lover boy," Sakura managed to crack as she lay prone on the medic bed, "I was hoping to be gone by the time you woke so you wouldn't have to see me like this, but I have the worst of luck ever, don't I?"

Sakura was as pale as the snow that was falling outside but that was a granted considering that she was practically dripping blood into the littered buckets around her bed. Kakashi found the set up slightly barbaric considering the modern workings of the hospital. "What is it Hokage-sama?"

"Ignoring me now…" Sakura laughed and wheezed as she looked back up at the ceiling. She didn't dare close her eyes, the last time she had done that Tsunade had practically had a fit.

"Poison," Tsunade muttered darkly.

Kakashi scowled, "Then make an antidote!"

Tsunade stood up with a force that sent her stool flying backwards and making a huge hole in the wall, "Don't you think I've tried Hatake!"

"Well you obviously haven't tried hard enough!"

"You insolent little…"

"Stop fighting… don't make me regret coming home to die," Sakura muttered in slight gasps.

Tsunade scowled at the copy nin and he threw her a sharp look back. "How did you get home in the first place Sakura? You should have died on the way," Tsunade murmured as she pushed Sakura's bangs out of her face.

"I already told you, sheer will power, good chakra control in poison suppression and the need to do one last thing before I go," she whispered and glanced at Kakashi. She tried to smile and Kakashi found that he could no longer stand.

Tsunade nodded and stole a peak at the copy nin, his outrage had more context now, "The poison disintegrates all scar tissue. Every single one of Sakura's old wounds whether perfectly stitched or not are opening right back up and there is no way to heal them considering I'd just be making more scar tissue and… I'm sure you can deduct the rest…" Tsunade's voice had hitched in her explanation and Kakashi was sure that pride was the only thing holding the Hokage back from bursting out into tears.

Kakashi nodded dazed and confused. He stared at the pink haired girl in front of him who just the previous night had been full of life and energy. He noticed Sakura tossing glances at Tsunade and the Hokage hiss in resentment before she stood up and walked to the door of the room. "Make her last moment count Hatake or I'll have your head." The door slammed.

"Don't take Shishou's comments too seriously, you're too valuable," Sakura muttered and choked on her own blood, she winced as she swallowed it down, it didn't matter anymore. However, she really wished Sasori hadn't stabbed her through the gut nearly half a decade ago.

Kakashi moved himself closer to the bed and took her hand in his. Her knuckles were trickling blood as well and he wished that he could have done anything for her, anything at all. "Don't look so down," Sakura stated, "And don't you dare blame yourself. You had nothing to do with this. It was my own mission and I was stupid enough to get myself poisoned and not a single thing you could've done last night could have saved me."

It had nearly taken her two minutes to rasp out that statement and the threatening effect was lost, he took her knuckles and kissed them not caring that her blood was staining his lips. "I could not have gone back to sleep," he murmured gently, "If I had known that those moment would have been our last."

Sakura laughed, blood dribbling from her mouth, "It's okay. I think you're handsome when you're sleeping. I enjoyed myself thoroughly."

"I could have kissed you…"

"You could kiss me now, though I wouldn't understand if you were adverse to the idea," Sakura quipped trying to keep her spirits up. She had known what she was getting her self into the moment the calculation in her mind had started, she just wished that she had gotten more wounds over her course of duty, just so that she wouldn't of had to see his truly distraught and heartbroken face. "Smile please?"

Kakashi pulled down his mask and pulled at the corner of his lips ever so slightly, Sakura tried to giggle and squeezed his hand in an approval. The next thing he did shocked her. His lips pressed to hers and she tried with all her might to reciprocate. "I-it's not that bad…" His voice had cracked and Sakura hopped that the pillar of her childhood wouldn't start to cry, her heart would break if she saw any tears that would be shed for her.

"Y-you know," Sakura whimpered, "You should be happy that this poison didn't get you. Knowing all of your injuries you would have keeled over from blood loss in seconds." Her tactic at lightening the mood failed dramatically as she saw a frown mar his perfect face.

"Sakura…"

Tears started to form in her eyes, "I'm so sorry Kakashi," she sobbed and he wondered at her sudden change of mood and realized that this was entirely normal and entirely Sakura, "I shouldn't have told you. I was being rash and selfish and I wasn't considering the consequences…"

"Don't talk like that," Kakashi demanded harshly and wiped away the tears on her face along with the blood that traced her cheekbone. "I wouldn't have given up your love for the world."

Sakura sobbed again as her whole entire body convulsed, Kakashi held her down the best he could without causing her pain before realizing that Tsunade had already taken care of that aspect of her passing. "Thank you," Sakura whispered, "Kami, as selfish as it is, I'm happy I'm not dying alone."

"Naruto is going to hate himself for the rest of his life for not being here."

"I know… but I think it's for the better. He doesn't need to see my death, he doesn't deserve that…"

"Sakura…"

"Kakashi…"

"You're fad-…"

"Before I go Kakashi… I just want to say it one more time… I love you."

"I love you too."

_Before I Go_

Her eyes had been the first to go, then came her breathing and as the blood stopped flowing from her unbeating heart the bleeding creased as well. Tsunade had reappeared the moment that Sakura's eyes had gone hollow and had ushered him out of the room. The bloody mess did nothing for Tsunade's fear of blood was what Kakashi had found out from Shizune later on.

It had taken five days for them to etch her name on the cenotaph because even though she had died at home, she had died on a mission. Kakashi relished those five days that he had, the five days where he could deny her death and wish that she was still outside Konoha and would soon be returning to him soon. And upon her return he would cherish her in a way that he hadn't been able to cherish her since he had begun loving her two years ago. But the fifth day had come and he had to run his fingers over her name, had to admit that long ago they had run out of time.

It was another month before the other three team members came back to Konoha and they were devastated by the news of their only female team member's death. Naruto's cries of anguish could be heard from as far as Suna and Gaara, Kankuro and Temari had attended her memorial. Sasuke had abandoned his old home once again after trying for so long to adapt, but having heard of Sakura's bloody death, all he could once again see coating the walls of the compound was blood and more there was now than there had been before. Sai had gained great emotion during his time with Team Kakashi and he knew above all else that he would sorely miss the pink haired girl who would beat him to death every time he called her by the nickname that he considered a term of affection.

Meanwhile, when the Kakashi was not at the cenotaph murmuring to the many comrades he had lost over the course of his life, the copy nin often could be seen sitting between the branches of the lone cherry blossom tree that resided in the village walls, reading his orange little book. He loved her and he was glad that she had fought against all odds to get home to him, because if nothing else would give him peace from her untimely death, it was that she lived just a little longer to tell him she had loved him before she had to go.

* * *

So...yah? I hope you enjoyed the story. And sorry about the character death o-o my characters always seem to die. Review please : 3


End file.
